I hate my life

I hope it's not really me.
Ok, I just made another denial.
It is about me.
Just pretend it's about somebody else, ok?

I feel so lonely this weekend.
I'm a bit ashamed to admit that, but that's me right now.
There are many things I think about.
About loneliness, about what if everybody's gone.
What if my parents are gone, all families are gone,
people I love are gone, and at the end no one's around.
Only people I don't know.
Should I go after them? Just to have another companion?
But for what? To feel again the lost?

how's your feeling if one day you know that your parents are not your real parents, if you know that all love you got from people you really love is fake, if suddenly you doubt that God is real, if you doubt whether there's actually love (because you yourself have manipulated the love you had), and at the end you hate your life.
Yes, at this point I hate my life.