no, I don't miss you.
I miss swimming.. :p :p *boong bgt ya..*
hey, I think there's something wrong.
My swimming teacher hasn't called me since the last time we had lesson.
hmm.. that's weird. It's almost 2 or 3 weeks ago!
Last time he said that I still have to swim for 2 more hours, then he will proclaim (is it "proclaim" a right word?) that I CAN swim.... :P mann.. I don't know that I need his approval for being able to swim.
Anyway, I don't care so much. At the right time I'll be back on the water. *gaya benerr*
On the next 2 days I'll be on the mountain again. Don't ask me what I'm going to do there. We'll see.. just wait for the "laporan pandangan mata".. ;)
gotta sleep now.. have been through a long tough day..
*damn! again i'm hearing my housemate having sex in the room nextdoor*
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Dad, little girl, and being single
After successfully managing to sleep with empty stomach, I woke up this morning without feeling hungry. Maybe it's because of the honey I took before I slept last night. Several times it proved to help me every time I couldn't sleep.
Then I called my dad. Unexpectedly, my sis picked up the phone. Well, finally good to hear your confession, sis.. that driving a car is not your thing.. haha.. Dad and I knew it from the beginning, my sis is just like mom, never has interest in driving a car..
To sis: please try to get the license. Just make sure you have it when you need it, okay? Remember that I'm not around..
I always like chatting with Dad. We can talk about many things. Well, not just talking, but discussing. Often he asked for my and my sis' opinion before he made decision on many things. Even when he gives me suggestion, he will ask whether it's okay for me. Therefore it's more comfortable for me to talk to him than to mom if it comes to difficult problems, since we could talk without both of us being so emotional.. Anyway, it's rarely to see him in emotional state. If he's so angry, then we know we'll just cross the limit. Well, he's just the best dad in the world. :)
Yesterday I bought a gift for my friend's little daughter. She just turned 2 a few days ago.. so cute little girl. I met her several times, but it's been a long time ago. I've never been so in love with a little child like this before. When I first met her and looked into her big black eyes.. God.. it's so pure.. it's like looking into something peaceful, and I never found such feeling when I looked into other children's eyes. Well, maybe that's what we call love at the first sight, but unfortunately it's with a little child hehe.. Anyway, as she's only a little child, what we can expect then. When you don't see her for a long time, most probably she just forget you. That's what I got when I met her today.. She just stared at me like I'm a stranger, nothing come out from her mouth. Even when I gave her the gift. She's just silent. Mann oh mann. Be prepared to get broken heart when you fall in love with children.. hehehe.. :p
Today I came to an Easter party (makan-makan) held by some Indonesian. Good to know people living around here, but still I got strange feeling.. how to behave etc. Perhaps it's true that I'm too far away from this kind of social life, and I have no idea how it should be. *gawat*
Suddenly Kobua called me. That's unusual. It became more unusual when she said she's going to Basel.. to check the stores.. :p Couldn't resist good weather I guess.
For me, it's a good reason to leave the party, then I directly headed back to Basel. Somehow I feel glad to have her nearby. Well, at least until she ties the knot, I still can share funny-stupid stories or comments with her, see how she's flirting (or trying to flirt) with guys, or hear her comments to my outfits, make-up things ("put the sunblock on your face..") and my heavy backpack ("oh my God, it's heavy.. you should have a little bag so you don't need to carry many things!")..
Well, I have a nice Saturday. What else I can expect, when I'm in this life situation. Next week will be even more interesting. But I need first the weather to be so kind to me. In the end, I'm not sure if I should say that I'm glad being single. Perhaps it's better to say, I'm glad still being able to accept what I am right know.
Then I called my dad. Unexpectedly, my sis picked up the phone. Well, finally good to hear your confession, sis.. that driving a car is not your thing.. haha.. Dad and I knew it from the beginning, my sis is just like mom, never has interest in driving a car..
To sis: please try to get the license. Just make sure you have it when you need it, okay? Remember that I'm not around..
I always like chatting with Dad. We can talk about many things. Well, not just talking, but discussing. Often he asked for my and my sis' opinion before he made decision on many things. Even when he gives me suggestion, he will ask whether it's okay for me. Therefore it's more comfortable for me to talk to him than to mom if it comes to difficult problems, since we could talk without both of us being so emotional.. Anyway, it's rarely to see him in emotional state. If he's so angry, then we know we'll just cross the limit. Well, he's just the best dad in the world. :)
Yesterday I bought a gift for my friend's little daughter. She just turned 2 a few days ago.. so cute little girl. I met her several times, but it's been a long time ago. I've never been so in love with a little child like this before. When I first met her and looked into her big black eyes.. God.. it's so pure.. it's like looking into something peaceful, and I never found such feeling when I looked into other children's eyes. Well, maybe that's what we call love at the first sight, but unfortunately it's with a little child hehe.. Anyway, as she's only a little child, what we can expect then. When you don't see her for a long time, most probably she just forget you. That's what I got when I met her today.. She just stared at me like I'm a stranger, nothing come out from her mouth. Even when I gave her the gift. She's just silent. Mann oh mann. Be prepared to get broken heart when you fall in love with children.. hehehe.. :p
Today I came to an Easter party (makan-makan) held by some Indonesian. Good to know people living around here, but still I got strange feeling.. how to behave etc. Perhaps it's true that I'm too far away from this kind of social life, and I have no idea how it should be. *gawat*
Suddenly Kobua called me. That's unusual. It became more unusual when she said she's going to Basel.. to check the stores.. :p Couldn't resist good weather I guess.
For me, it's a good reason to leave the party, then I directly headed back to Basel. Somehow I feel glad to have her nearby. Well, at least until she ties the knot, I still can share funny-stupid stories or comments with her, see how she's flirting (or trying to flirt) with guys, or hear her comments to my outfits, make-up things ("put the sunblock on your face..") and my heavy backpack ("oh my God, it's heavy.. you should have a little bag so you don't need to carry many things!")..
Well, I have a nice Saturday. What else I can expect, when I'm in this life situation. Next week will be even more interesting. But I need first the weather to be so kind to me. In the end, I'm not sure if I should say that I'm glad being single. Perhaps it's better to say, I'm glad still being able to accept what I am right know.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Stres dan Fokus
Akhir2 ini kerasa banget stres nya, tertekannya.
Bukan, bukan cuma gara2 itu kok, tapi jg gara2 hal lainnya.
Otak dah kelamaan gak dipaksa mikir kali ya, jadi agak2 kram. *sigh*
Udah lewat 6 bulan, tapi kok ya masih ada aja kejadian yg bikin tertekan-tekan sendiri.
Ngerasa kok gue bego banget ya, gak capable banget ya, dll dll..
Bisa bengong seharian, ga tau gmn ngerjainnya, misalnya.
Ditambah Jerman yg bikin tambah jiper.
Padahal udah mulai les lagi, seminggu 2x, dikasih pe-er byk banget, tapi ya tetep aja.
Malah tambah stres, mencoba mengerti präteritum, adjektif dan akhiran2nya.
hmm.. pusing.
tapi akhirnya mayan dah agak2 nemu titik terang sptnya.
Fokus.
Itu ternyata jawabannya (setidaknya sampe hari ini).
Dimulai dr pagi, bikin plan dulu mo ngerjain apa hari ini, tulis, dan mulai kerja.
Fokus jadinya. Jadi keliatan ada hasilnya.
Lumayan, meningkatkan rasa percaya diri dikit2.
Fokus. Simple ternyata. Tapi gak tau bisa konsisten utk tetep fokus terus apa engga.
Bukan, bukan cuma gara2 itu kok, tapi jg gara2 hal lainnya.
Otak dah kelamaan gak dipaksa mikir kali ya, jadi agak2 kram. *sigh*
Udah lewat 6 bulan, tapi kok ya masih ada aja kejadian yg bikin tertekan-tekan sendiri.
Ngerasa kok gue bego banget ya, gak capable banget ya, dll dll..
Bisa bengong seharian, ga tau gmn ngerjainnya, misalnya.
Ditambah Jerman yg bikin tambah jiper.
Padahal udah mulai les lagi, seminggu 2x, dikasih pe-er byk banget, tapi ya tetep aja.
Malah tambah stres, mencoba mengerti präteritum, adjektif dan akhiran2nya.
hmm.. pusing.
tapi akhirnya mayan dah agak2 nemu titik terang sptnya.
Fokus.
Itu ternyata jawabannya (setidaknya sampe hari ini).
Dimulai dr pagi, bikin plan dulu mo ngerjain apa hari ini, tulis, dan mulai kerja.
Fokus jadinya. Jadi keliatan ada hasilnya.
Lumayan, meningkatkan rasa percaya diri dikit2.
Fokus. Simple ternyata. Tapi gak tau bisa konsisten utk tetep fokus terus apa engga.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Ah Aneh..
Entah memang otak lagi kacau, atau beneran aneh.
Tau2 nemu barang dobel, pdhl yakin cuman punya satu.
Tau2 kunci sepeda yg digantung bareng kunci2 lainnya ilang, tapi kunci2 lainnya masih ada.
Tau2 tadi pas di ruang latihan koor, ngerasa de javu, kyk pernah liat situasi spt itu.
Tau2 bisa ngobrol sama ibu2 swiss pake bhs indo.
hmm..
Tau2 nemu barang dobel, pdhl yakin cuman punya satu.
Tau2 kunci sepeda yg digantung bareng kunci2 lainnya ilang, tapi kunci2 lainnya masih ada.
Tau2 tadi pas di ruang latihan koor, ngerasa de javu, kyk pernah liat situasi spt itu.
Tau2 bisa ngobrol sama ibu2 swiss pake bhs indo.
hmm..
Friday, April 17, 2009
Dear God,
Dear Tuhan,
boleh ga jgn kasih lagi beban yg lebih berat dr yg bisa aku pikul..?
kalau boleh malah tolong cukupkan segini aja utk kali ini..
tapi kalo gak boleh, tolong bantu aku buat pikul bebannya..
rasanya udah gak kuat lagi..
Dear Tuhan,
kata org2, waktu2 paling gelap adalah sesaat sebelum fajar..
sampai berapa lama lagi ya aku bisa ngeliat fajarnya..?
Dear Tuhan,
aku mo diapain lagi..
boleh ga berhenti dulu..? pinginnn sekali aja ngerasain gak sedih lagi..
Dear Tuhan,
aku sekarang lagi berusaha buka mata, hati, dan telinga..
biar denger Tuhan mau apa..
tapi Tuhan, berdoa pake bhs Jerman itu susah ya.. aku gak ngerti..
tapi gak papa, aku tetep setia deh..
Dear Tuhan,
pinginnn deh bisa gak ngerasa sakit lagi..
pingin jg gak disakitin..
kenapa ya kok Tuhan biarkan itu..
Dear Tuhan,
tiap orang punya batasnya.. gak kyk Tuhan yg tak terbatas..
dan aku kyknya udah mencapai batasku..
tolong aku ya?
tolong ilangin semua rasa sakit itu..
sekali ini aja.
boleh ga jgn kasih lagi beban yg lebih berat dr yg bisa aku pikul..?
kalau boleh malah tolong cukupkan segini aja utk kali ini..
tapi kalo gak boleh, tolong bantu aku buat pikul bebannya..
rasanya udah gak kuat lagi..
Dear Tuhan,
kata org2, waktu2 paling gelap adalah sesaat sebelum fajar..
sampai berapa lama lagi ya aku bisa ngeliat fajarnya..?
Dear Tuhan,
aku mo diapain lagi..
boleh ga berhenti dulu..? pinginnn sekali aja ngerasain gak sedih lagi..
Dear Tuhan,
aku sekarang lagi berusaha buka mata, hati, dan telinga..
biar denger Tuhan mau apa..
tapi Tuhan, berdoa pake bhs Jerman itu susah ya.. aku gak ngerti..
tapi gak papa, aku tetep setia deh..
Dear Tuhan,
pinginnn deh bisa gak ngerasa sakit lagi..
pingin jg gak disakitin..
kenapa ya kok Tuhan biarkan itu..
Dear Tuhan,
tiap orang punya batasnya.. gak kyk Tuhan yg tak terbatas..
dan aku kyknya udah mencapai batasku..
tolong aku ya?
tolong ilangin semua rasa sakit itu..
sekali ini aja.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Don't know what to say
Anyway..
at some points in life, we always have to choose something.
That's why I completely agree that to live is to choose.
And following the choice,
I just found this quote:
It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny (Jean Nidetch);
which is probably true and somehow I believe that also.
Well, here I am now.. waiting, to see which destiny will be determined for me.
*akhirnyaakumenangmelawanattachmentterbesardalamhidupsampaisaatini!=)*
makasih Tuhan..!
at some points in life, we always have to choose something.
That's why I completely agree that to live is to choose.
And following the choice,
I just found this quote:
It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny (Jean Nidetch);
which is probably true and somehow I believe that also.
Well, here I am now.. waiting, to see which destiny will be determined for me.
*akhirnyaakumenangmelawanattachmentterbesardalamhidupsampaisaatini!=)*
makasih Tuhan..!
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Kapan harus berhenti sejenak
Besok hari terakhir pelajaran renang (kyknya sih), seneng juga akhirnya berakhir.
Selanjutnya bisa latian sendirian aja, mungkin sambil sekali-sekali ngajak temen kali ya, buat jaga2 kalo gue panik hehe..
Latian terakhir, di kolam dalam dan udah tanpa swim belt. Dan guru gue udah tidak memaksa gue utk terus berenang sampe ujung, krn akhirnya dia nyadar juga kalo gue sebenernya takut air..
Lumayan lah, bolak balik lompat, trus berenang di pojokan kolam..
Pingin berhenti dulu sebenernya, gara2 tiap abis berenang kerasa sakit lagi otot di pangkal paha.
Ini masih sakit yg sama hasil dr ikutan nendang2 di kelas tae bo dulu.
Kadang jd sampe takut, abis bs sampe sakit bgt kalo buat gerakan tertentu.
Perlu ke dokter ga ya.. hmm.. tapi tar buat janji sama dokter minggu depan, trus pas di tempat dokter tnyt dah ga sakit lagi.. kyk lutut yg dulu. hmm..
Harusnya latian renang itu bisa bikin tambah semangat, semangat buat bisa berenang sampe ujung. Tapi kok ternyata susah ya.
Ini sama aja kyk kerja. Susah buat bikin diri sendiri semangat untuk mencapai tujuan. Aneh.. dan bingung sendiri. Kok kyk gak punya motivasi, semangat atau ambisi ya? hmm.. pusing.. :(
Selanjutnya bisa latian sendirian aja, mungkin sambil sekali-sekali ngajak temen kali ya, buat jaga2 kalo gue panik hehe..
Latian terakhir, di kolam dalam dan udah tanpa swim belt. Dan guru gue udah tidak memaksa gue utk terus berenang sampe ujung, krn akhirnya dia nyadar juga kalo gue sebenernya takut air..
Lumayan lah, bolak balik lompat, trus berenang di pojokan kolam..
Pingin berhenti dulu sebenernya, gara2 tiap abis berenang kerasa sakit lagi otot di pangkal paha.
Ini masih sakit yg sama hasil dr ikutan nendang2 di kelas tae bo dulu.
Kadang jd sampe takut, abis bs sampe sakit bgt kalo buat gerakan tertentu.
Perlu ke dokter ga ya.. hmm.. tapi tar buat janji sama dokter minggu depan, trus pas di tempat dokter tnyt dah ga sakit lagi.. kyk lutut yg dulu. hmm..
Harusnya latian renang itu bisa bikin tambah semangat, semangat buat bisa berenang sampe ujung. Tapi kok ternyata susah ya.
Ini sama aja kyk kerja. Susah buat bikin diri sendiri semangat untuk mencapai tujuan. Aneh.. dan bingung sendiri. Kok kyk gak punya motivasi, semangat atau ambisi ya? hmm.. pusing.. :(
Friday, April 03, 2009
And he forced me to jump..
Today was my worst swimming lesson ever.. :((( *hiks2*
Seperti yg sudah gue duga, gue dibawa ke kolam dalam hari ini.. kali ini cuman pake 1 foam di swim belt.
Pak guru: "ayo ikut ke kolam sebelah sana.."
Begitu sampe di tepi kolam,
pak guru: "ok, sekarang kamu loncat masuk ke kolam, trus coba lgs berenang. Saya pegang swim nuddle deket2 kamu, kalo kamu butuh bantuan, kamu bisa pegang swim nuddlenya"
gue: bengong. LONCATTTT????? :o
gue masih bengong2 takut gitu, trus dia bilang "ayo springen.."
*hiks2* gak berdaya menolak, akhirnya gue nekat loncat masuk ke kolam..
(note: loncatnya bukan tegak lurus masuk kaki duluan ya, tapi tangan sama kepala yg masuk air dulu)
Ternyata,
loncatan pertama begitu menggoda..
namun selanjutnya.. hmm..
lanjutin dulu ceritanya ya.
Begitu masuk air, gue berhasil langsung naek ke permukaan trus berenang gaya katak. Kali ini lumayan bisa gak terlalu cepet gerakannya, jadi akhirnya berhasil juga sampe ujung.. (biarpun ngos-ngosan abis..)
Trus disuruh naek, keluar kolam. *wah tumben, dlm hati gue*
NAMUN ya ampun.. gue disuruh naek ke papan loncat!! (tempat loncat untuk perenang2 beneran kalo mo mulai lomba renang) huaaaa :((
Trus disuruh loncat lagi ke dalam air huaahhh.. gila bener.. guru gue bener2 sadis sesadis sadisnya..
Dan setengah takut2 gitu (takut beneran sih sebenernya), akhirnya gue loncat..
Mo tau hasilnya?
hmm.. gue kok jadi lupa ya.
Serius, lupa. Tadi itu sehabis loncat trus sempet berenang sebentar, apa lgs panik ya.
Ya gitu deh. Yg gue inget, gue tau2 panik, gak inget mesti bergerak2, trus akhirnya narik swim nuddle guru gue. Air masuk kemana2, trus ditarik ke tepi dan disuruh naek ke atas.
Sampe susah napas, kyk kesekat gitu..
Trus lgs disuruh jalan sama guru gue, katanya biar paru2nya lapang lagi..
Ternyata bener jg, jd mulai lancar bernapasnya..
huhu.. bener2 pucat pasi gue..
Akhirnya disudahi sesi kolam dalamnya, trus pindah ke kolam cetek.
Teteupp.. disuruh berenang bolak balik, cuma boleh gaya katak aja.
Sampe akhirnya.. gue muntah, dan gak berapa lama kaki gue kram. :(
Disudahi deh pelajaran berenangnya.. Total cuman setengah jam doang di air.
Tapi rasanya.. jiwa raga mau melayang hehe.. *apa coba*
Apa hasil yg dipetik hari ini?
1. Gaya katak itu susah, mensinkronkan tangan dan kaki: tangan mulai setengah membuka = kaki mulai menekuk, tangan kembali lurus = kaki menghentak cepat dan menutup. Gampang ditulis, gampang dicontohin sambil berdiri, tapi susah dipraktekin. Sampe skrg masih ilang timbul iramanya.
2. Stamina/ausdauer gue ternyata memang rendahhhh sekali, dari dulu sampe sekarang, dan makin keliatan di air. *emang dr sananya kali ya*
3. Disuruh minum magnesium sama guru gue, gara2 kegampangan kram :p (gak normal nih kamu.. *katanya*)
4. Berenang itu = gak boleh berhenti bergerak. *lagi2 petuah pak guru* Ya bener juga sih.. lu bergerak atau kelelep.. Tapi ya itu.. kalo dah ga kuat gimana caranya ya.. :( masih penasaran.. knp gue ga diajarin ngambang / berenang di tempat ya?
In the end, goal gue cuman bisa ngambang di tempat dalam sama gaya punggung aja deh.. gak muluk2 bisa gaya katak huhuhuhu.. :((
*baru nyadar, element zodiac gue itu air, dan ruling planet: bulan. Bulan, berarti cocok, menjelaskan semuanya, knp kalo bulan purnama gue suka aneh. Tapi AIR.. hmm.. jadi agak sangsi.. kalo beneran gitu harusnya gue gampang belajar berenang ya..?:p*
Seperti yg sudah gue duga, gue dibawa ke kolam dalam hari ini.. kali ini cuman pake 1 foam di swim belt.
Pak guru: "ayo ikut ke kolam sebelah sana.."
Begitu sampe di tepi kolam,
pak guru: "ok, sekarang kamu loncat masuk ke kolam, trus coba lgs berenang. Saya pegang swim nuddle deket2 kamu, kalo kamu butuh bantuan, kamu bisa pegang swim nuddlenya"
gue: bengong. LONCATTTT????? :o
gue masih bengong2 takut gitu, trus dia bilang "ayo springen.."
*hiks2* gak berdaya menolak, akhirnya gue nekat loncat masuk ke kolam..
(note: loncatnya bukan tegak lurus masuk kaki duluan ya, tapi tangan sama kepala yg masuk air dulu)
Ternyata,
loncatan pertama begitu menggoda..
namun selanjutnya.. hmm..
lanjutin dulu ceritanya ya.
Begitu masuk air, gue berhasil langsung naek ke permukaan trus berenang gaya katak. Kali ini lumayan bisa gak terlalu cepet gerakannya, jadi akhirnya berhasil juga sampe ujung.. (biarpun ngos-ngosan abis..)
Trus disuruh naek, keluar kolam. *wah tumben, dlm hati gue*
NAMUN ya ampun.. gue disuruh naek ke papan loncat!! (tempat loncat untuk perenang2 beneran kalo mo mulai lomba renang) huaaaa :((
Trus disuruh loncat lagi ke dalam air huaahhh.. gila bener.. guru gue bener2 sadis sesadis sadisnya..
Dan setengah takut2 gitu (takut beneran sih sebenernya), akhirnya gue loncat..
Mo tau hasilnya?
hmm.. gue kok jadi lupa ya.
Serius, lupa. Tadi itu sehabis loncat trus sempet berenang sebentar, apa lgs panik ya.
Ya gitu deh. Yg gue inget, gue tau2 panik, gak inget mesti bergerak2, trus akhirnya narik swim nuddle guru gue. Air masuk kemana2, trus ditarik ke tepi dan disuruh naek ke atas.
Sampe susah napas, kyk kesekat gitu..
Trus lgs disuruh jalan sama guru gue, katanya biar paru2nya lapang lagi..
Ternyata bener jg, jd mulai lancar bernapasnya..
huhu.. bener2 pucat pasi gue..
Akhirnya disudahi sesi kolam dalamnya, trus pindah ke kolam cetek.
Teteupp.. disuruh berenang bolak balik, cuma boleh gaya katak aja.
Sampe akhirnya.. gue muntah, dan gak berapa lama kaki gue kram. :(
Disudahi deh pelajaran berenangnya.. Total cuman setengah jam doang di air.
Tapi rasanya.. jiwa raga mau melayang hehe.. *apa coba*
Apa hasil yg dipetik hari ini?
1. Gaya katak itu susah, mensinkronkan tangan dan kaki: tangan mulai setengah membuka = kaki mulai menekuk, tangan kembali lurus = kaki menghentak cepat dan menutup. Gampang ditulis, gampang dicontohin sambil berdiri, tapi susah dipraktekin. Sampe skrg masih ilang timbul iramanya.
2. Stamina/ausdauer gue ternyata memang rendahhhh sekali, dari dulu sampe sekarang, dan makin keliatan di air. *emang dr sananya kali ya*
3. Disuruh minum magnesium sama guru gue, gara2 kegampangan kram :p (gak normal nih kamu.. *katanya*)
4. Berenang itu = gak boleh berhenti bergerak. *lagi2 petuah pak guru* Ya bener juga sih.. lu bergerak atau kelelep.. Tapi ya itu.. kalo dah ga kuat gimana caranya ya.. :( masih penasaran.. knp gue ga diajarin ngambang / berenang di tempat ya?
In the end, goal gue cuman bisa ngambang di tempat dalam sama gaya punggung aja deh.. gak muluk2 bisa gaya katak huhuhuhu.. :((
*baru nyadar, element zodiac gue itu air, dan ruling planet: bulan. Bulan, berarti cocok, menjelaskan semuanya, knp kalo bulan purnama gue suka aneh. Tapi AIR.. hmm.. jadi agak sangsi.. kalo beneran gitu harusnya gue gampang belajar berenang ya..?:p*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)