It's Christmas

It's almost a perfect Christmas Eve until the time I arrived at the church at 11 pm and realized that the mass has almost came to the end. I cried. All of a sudden I want to be with my family..


It turned out that I kept the wrong information in my brain. My brain should have transferred 22.00 to 10 pm, but somehow it's 11 pm :( Now I know that I should be more careful with numbers..


Apart from that, we had a good day here. Having heavy snow-rain the whole day, then chocolate baileys, sekt and radler at noon with some friends (standing outside the bar, under the pouring snow-rain), and perfect Christmas dinner at a friend's place.


Christmas day was also okay. Learned from the previous mistake, this time we managed: first to make sure that the mass was at 11 am, then to make sure that we're not late. 


Second day of Christmas: it's time to take a walk. We have lots of snow here, and it's always good to walk in the snow with the sun shining above you.


So, all in all, it's been a good Christmas, my first Christmas here.. :)

Happy holidays!

Today's quote

"When someone sees the same people every day, they wind up becoming part of that person's life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own."


from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

When there is no energy left..

Fiuhh..
Sometimes I have no idea how I could still stand for this job so far.
Wanna cry, every time I remember this and that things I should do, work on, finish, plan, think, etc.. before end of the year. And that means before end of next year - or well, before I take the plane to Jakarta.


Just today for instance (a week before Christmas), I get a new deadline which was decided out of the blue *whatsoever*: to have all existing order migrated into the new order structure until end of Q1-11. *nothing to understand here* That means.. I've only 2 months + a couple of days to plan, go to the countries, explain, give the training, etc .. fiuhhh..
It's my mistake I think. Now I know that particular people cannot (or don't have guts to) make decision. So next time I'll decide - well, of course with a better preparation/planning before.


Next year is going to be a tough one (again.. oh well, perhaps never I will have one easy year..).


ANyway...
I'm totally kaputt now. I'm afraid these crazy days plus some minutes at noon being outside without my jacket (yes, they locked the meeting room already when I got back from other meeting :( ) will bring no good for the body..
BUT
I don't want to get ill. Not now please.
Tomorrow is going to be a loooooong day. Should be at the office before 8 am, and directly go to the year-end party in the evening.. and yup.. will be a long night.


hmmmm... x-(


   

When you're alone

--unimportant writing--


When you're alone, having nobody within your reach, many things are seen more clearly. Many thoughts come and go, fill up your mind and soul; you question many things, and at the same time you have your own answers. Sometimes unanswered questions fade away, and at the end you'll have peace in your heart.


Something that once you believed with all your heart could then melt away. You start to accept what life has given you so far, you contemplate your life. Then you just don't expect anything from others. You care only yourself and people you love, so you'll try to enjoy every moment of your life with them, each single hour and day. Then by that time you know what you want, what your limit, what the others could expect from you, and not they who dictate what you should give to them. 


I'm trying to have that peace right now, and I who will decide what I want to have and what I want to give, and not you. No one should define other's happiness, and no one should seek for happiness in others, for pure happiness is coming only from your very own.


hmm.. 
the last 6 years was not easy, perhaps you never know what you've done, but I've survived and now I feel content with my life. I hope it will always be..

*sigh* jd nulis ga jelas gini sih.. just leave me alone..

Sometimes.. I'm just tired.

Capek.

Kenapa sih gak boleh menikmati waktu apa adanya,

ngerasa bahagia untuk saat ini saja,

tanpa harus mikir yg dulu, kemarin, besok, dan masa depan?

Kadang kita terlalu kuatir terhadap byk hal,

yg seharusnya gak perlu.

Cuma bikin capek hati aja.

Buat apa mengkuatirkan hal2 yg sudah terjadi,

buat apa jg mengkuatirkan hal2 yg belum terjadi.

hmmm..

for this time i won't say a word to you God. Not a word.

I know what will happen if I do that.

Just do whatever you want me to do, okay?

1st disadvantage of living very close to the border..

Now I found one disadvantage of living very close to the border, which makes me really really irritated! --> Mobile phone network.

Just saw my mobile phone bill from last month, and guess what. I have to pay some calls that's supposed to be included in the fixed monthly rate. It's just because my mobile connected to non German network at the time I made the calls AT HOME!!!! YES, AT HOME.... and my home is still in Germany for sure (or is it Swiss already?) arrrgghhhhh!!!! I hate that! :( And that's a lot! almost the same cost as the monthly rate itself!! I really really really hate this.

*sigh*

What to do then?

Now I should really check the network every time I'm at home. Second, turn off the automatic network change.. (still try to find how to do it in this HTC)

damn.. I hate this.

I think the mobile phone provider should have special package for the people who lives and works close to the border.. that could be interesting.

This and that (from last week)

hmm.. there should be many things I could write about last week, things that I learned. But I don't know.. somehow it's difficult to start.

Anyway, perhaps they're just not so important.

One thing came into my mind some when last week. One of the very first thought that I had during the first months (or year) I work here. That there are so many new things I could learn and they are interesting, but somehow it's difficult to raise my deep interest. In other words: I couldn't get myself into the work deeply. Not deep enough until I could say what I think, or what my opinion is, or freely discuss about those big issues at work. Sometimes I just feel like they're not important. Strange, really strange. And until now (after 2 years), sometimes I still feel it.

Have any of you ever been on that situation? You have a lot of interesting things to do / to learn in front of you, you think they're interesting, but you just cannot get into it. Confused? So am I.

There are some people at work where they can discuss about the work anytime anywhere. They make me amazed. I find it very difficult to get into that kind of discussion. Either I'm not interested, or it's just beyond me. Or perhaps I'm just living in my own world. Na ja.. it's just difficult sometimes.

ok. stop now. Time to sleep.

Up the mountain

When I'm up the mountain, apart from the "I-wanna-cry" part (a.k.a walking up on a steep trail), I always get beautiful feelings. Grateful for the beautiful weather, thankful that I can be there to enjoy the nature - and the most important: I can follow my fellowship who have long legs and so they walk so fast.. no matter up or down - plus I get beautiful moments I can capture (note: beautiful is subjective, at least it's for me.. =)).

Below is one of them.

Gandalf and Co. walking to the mount of Mordor ;p

(picture's taken by Legolas ;))

At last, another great hiking day..

To live..

to live is to choose.

to live is to enjoy one moment at a time.

to live is to feel content.

to live is to let ourselves free.

Tired

Capek. Padahal pingin ngerjain byk hal :(

The new apt (not apps)

Selain tetek bengek urusan yg bikin pusing, ternyata makin lama makin menyadari byk kelebihan yg gue temui buat tinggal di apartemen baru.

Dari satu segi aja: lokasi.

Cuma butuh ca. 5 menit jalan kaki ke: stasiun kereta (dgn catatan palang gak nutup duluan), supermarket, kelas itali, kolam renang, taman, dokter, bank, centrum/pertokoan, kelas pilates, kalo mo ikutan kelas aerobik bahkan cuman tinggal nyebrang jalan depan rumah (baru nyadar gitu), kantor asuransi (AOK) - kalo butuh ngurus2, bank, perpustakaan..

dan yg lainnya dalam jangkauan 10-15 menit jalan kaki.. uhuy bgt deh! =)

Cinta Sehat

Healthy love is like the following: (buat Jibran+Anie)

Yes I love you, but I could live without you.

Or, I better live without you.

Or, I better go.

For healthy love should not make yourself weak and sick.

It should make you becoming a better person.

Anyway.. jd ngalor ngidul ga karuan.

*better to be in love and not to fall in love, because falling just makes you hurt.*

ARrgggghhh...

Why is it always difficult for me to start working on topics around business plan, target, market potential, and their other friends.. :(
My brain starts working soooo slow.. cannot get all those numbers in my head and cannot immediately start all the logical thinking and calculation needed. *sigh*
Or perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe I need more than what I have in my brain..

I don't like this.
mannn..
Second night in the new apt and already stuck in front of computer for work, with my slow brain... :(

Love

When do you know if you really love someone?

It's not when he's there and comfort you,

it's not when he has everything that you expect from him,

it's not when he says "i love you" and does everything for you,

it's not when he looks perfect for you,

it is not..

It is when he's gone and care less about you,

it is when he's always doing the same mistake again and again,

it is when he hurts you,

it is when you know you're going to loose him,

it is when you know you can't do anything,

and when you know that you can't change him,

but you still love him.

That's when you know that love never comes to an end.

Unfortunately you couldn't live only from love.. - that's the reality.

When everything's going wrong

Time flies, moves fast.

Expect the unexpected.

Feel like flying in the air,

Is it dream, or real?

Stuck in the moment,

with the strange feeling.

Don't know where it will go.

All and everything

All and everything seem to come at the same time,

force me to double or triple my energy,

but i don't want that, don't want to give it all,

for i live only once.

*stresssss*

Antara kopi dan disupirin bos..

Heran.

Dua kali disupirin bos, dua kali mual perutnya dan akhirnya muntah (di toilet, tenang aja).

Kebetulan sebelum berangkat kok ya pas selalu minum kopi dulu.

Jadi bingung, gara2 kopinya (terlalu kuat) atau gara2 si bos nyetirnya ga enak.

Jadi ga enak gitu gue. Akhirnya berusaha meyakinkan kalo penyebabnya gara2 kopi.

Tapi ya emang si bos nyetirnya ngebut abis gitu.. tp ga bisa steady, jd terkocok2 deh perut.

Lesson learned nya,

1. jangan minum kopi sebelum ikut mobil bos

2. makan yg cukup sebelum ikut mobil bos

3. kalo bisa jgn ikut mobil bos :D

kesimpulannya kok malah jadi bos gue ya? hehe

btw, kopi itali, biarpun cuman yg dari vending machine, ternyata masih jauh lebih enak dr kopi kanada yg paling enak hehe..

Your heart

When you couldn't understand something inside, it's better to be silent.

Do not speak a word, and just listen.

Listen to the inner voice, what your heart is telling.

Sometimes you just cannot define, what it is and where it is going.

Then it's better to be silent.

And listen to your heart.

For it's probably the only one who could tell you,

the truth about yourself.

Everything happens for a reason

Have been thinking a lot, for so many different things happened around me lately.

Something drove me crazy, another thing made me confused.

One thing made me alive, while the other thing just made me stupid.

Don't know what to do and afraid to do something wrong.

Don't know what did they happen for.. *sigh*

Another one is still on its way.

For it's going to chance my life.

Or the way I live my life.

A turn-point or another episode?

I don't know..

All I believe is that Everything happens for a reason.

If it's my way, then it will be.

hmm..

what do you want from me..

Got a wake-up call :p

I woke up between 2-3 am today, and couldn't sleep again. Just had a weird dream (as usual), which made me think a lot.

Didn't know what to do, I checked my friend if she's online. Then there we were, spending some time to chat. Until I fell asleep.. and suddenly my phone's ringing!

I woke up immediately to find a non-German number calling.. *still being puzzled, why someone's calling me very early in the morning to the company number* picked it up and... OMG..!! it's really my colleague on the phone and he's asking about something related to the work! then I checked the time and OMG (again).. it's almost 9 AM, I'm just waking up, and I'll have a meeting in one hour!!! :D :D :P

Kacauuuu..... hahaha..

The good thing is, it's not my boss who wake me up hahaha.. anyway, it's so embarassing.. :p

Then I just found out this evening, I have turned my alarm to 6 PM and not AM.. x-p

*hey there, thanks for the wake-up call! ;)*

Back!

and to go again for a while.. *fiuhhh.. jalan terusss..!!*

wish I could find someone who can grab and stop me.

Now I understand..

As I always believe, we actually never stop learning.

Well, we can.. if we want.

Anyway, today I think I learned something important, important to be understood.

Something that I never realized before, that it could influence to the way how the whole big company is running.

It's the CULTURE.

Simple, but I didn't think that it could be the answer of my frustration.

My colleague gave that possible answer. He's also new in the company, and he could see how the Swiss culture may give huge influence to the way people working in the company (well, since it is Swiss').

He said, Swiss people don't like conflicts. And he thinks that this is the reason why in the office the people always try to accommodate, negotiate, discuss, discuss, discuss, and discuss(!) to find the solution, which could fit / accepted by most of the people (probably not by everybody). And it sometimes takes a longggg time until a decision is made.

This is something which makes me frustrated sometimes. The very first thing that I also didn't understand, how come the topic which has been discussed 4-5 years ago is still being discussed now, and it's like there is no movement.. and it's like no one wants to make decision. (it's quite difficult to understand, probably because I'm coming from the other part of the world where many things seem moving so fast..)

But.. I think some of the "Why" questions in my head are answered. At least, for now.

Blame the culture? no.. I just need to understand it first.

Next, to figure out how to deal with that.. *fiuhhhh*

He and She

He never changes, so He wants She also to never change.

She changes, and She wants He to change as well.

She expects He would change,

He expects She would never change.

He and She would never be the same.

Why do you change? - He asks.

Why do I want you to change? - She asks.

Why should I change? - He asks.
Why couldn't I stay the same? - She asks.

He and She are complicated,

Life is complicated.

It's something that I cannot understand,

or I just understood.

Something that I finally learned, after almost 32 years.

Never too late to learn, though. Never ever..

*thx chin buat pencerahannya :D*

Long Day..

Hari ini ngabur ke Düsseldorf, senangnya bisa ngabur bentar dr kerjaan hehe..

Gak sia2 10 jam naek kereta bolak balik.. dpt visa, dpt trench coat yg diidam2kan (diskon 50% pula, dan tinggal satu2nya.. wahh jodoh bener deh), dan tentu saja ga mungkin dilewatkan: makan di resto jepanggg... nyumiii..

Pulang2 bokek deh.

Kalau..

Kalau gue bisa bikin 2 visa dlm waktu 3 minggu, kita tumpengan..

double decker tumpengannya.. skalian sama tumpengan kalo gue bisa survive taun ini :P

*stress euy*

Need a break right before vacation?

Yes, that's what I need! :(

I'm really really really tired right now..

and now I'm thinking to have a short break, going away from everything even only for one day.

And do nothing. There should not be something to hike, to bike, to run, to swim or to walk.

Just lay down and watch the beautiful mother nature, from dawn until night.

hmm.. I wish I know a place somewhere for my hideaway..

I think it's enough now!

I'm tired now to be their housekeeper.. so next plan after mom-dad trip: new apartment. (bukan mo beli apartemen ya.. :p *i wish i could*)

*Glek*

"The 5 girls were being prepared for selling as child brides because their families had no goats which means no milk, meat and blood, and no food in their drought-stricken desert. By selling their daughter to an older man, they receive a dowry of goats which means their survival. We prevented the child bride exchange by giving their parents four goats each." - source: from an email.

Cannot say anything, only how we should be grateful for our life, and there's a reason for it, to help the children like them.

http://www.ihfonline.org/

Last Week

Last week was such a stressful week for me. I know that there were still a bunch of work to do, but somehow I felt really really down. I questioned a lot the way I work, the reason why I'm doing it, and the result. The last part frustrated me a lot. Since I'm more a practical & simple person, I really like to see that what I've done producing something real. But since some of the projects' goal are conceptual things, it's not really easy to see the result. And I know deep down that I'm not a person who is good at making concept. So it gives additional headache sometimes.

But last week, it's too much. (perhaps I'll blame the hormone)

I couldn't sleep, my brain was always thinking about the work, until I cried. Embarrassing isn't it. Since I didn't know what to do, then I shared it with friends. It turned out to be a huge relief because they all gave support to me. "don't give up, you can do it!" they're some of them. And then I realize, it is their support which always help me to get through the difficult time. Nothing else. But I have to share my difficulty first with them, so they would know.

So, lesson learned. If you've a difficult time, try to share it with your friends. Just a small part of it, if you don't want to share it all. Then your good friends will always give you support. I will also do the same thing if my friends need my support. *promise*

At the end of the week, a paper sent by a far away colleague had helped me a lot to smile again.. ;)

Thank you, all! =)

And this song is for you.

This Week

Beberapa minggu terakhir ini kerja dari pagi sampe malam, malamnya masih lanjut mantengin internet buat booking2 tiket + hotel. Hasilnya mata dan otak lelah bgt rasanya. Sempet diajak ngobrol sama temen sekantor yg sesama perantau, tentang bedanya hidup perantau dan orang asli sini, plus kadang suka merasa kosong krn kebanyakan diisi rutinitas kerja aja. Buat dia masih agak lebih mending krn dia punya attachment: istrinya. Biarpun ga punya anak, tp dah cukup buat jadi reason to survive. Tapi tetep aja ada yg hilang, seperti keluarga, komunitas, atau hal2 yg dulu dia lakukan tp sejak pindah ke Swiss ga pernah bisa dilakukan lagi. Ujung2nya, dia bilangin gue buat punya sesuatu yg lain di luar kerjaan, biar imbang jiwanya. Mungkin gara2 dia liat gue pulangnya sering terakhir (bareng dia), atau mungkin krn gue satu2nya foreigner di project team itu, makanya jadi ngerti apa yg dia omongin. Dia jg bilang bahwa sesuatu yg lain itu harus dicari or dikejar, ga bakalan kita nunggu aja tanpa melakukan apa2 trus datang sendiri. Ya begitu lah.

Kayaknya sih dah tau apa yg diinginkan, tapi kemana nyarinya, itu yg masih bingung. Kadang jadi beneran takut. Kayak hari ini. hmm.. moga2 ini masih normal ya, bukan krn trauma atau apa.

Krn mo mencoba mengerjakan sesuatu yg lain (selain kerjaan), kemaren pas hari libur nyoba ke sauna sama kobua. Itu pertama kalinya nyobain sauna. Hasilnya? kyknya gak bakal pingin2 banget lagi deh. Abisnya gitu doang. Yg tadinya berharap jd lebih rilex, eh malah gak karuan hehe.. badannya tetep nyimpen panas sampe 2 hari berikutnya :( Gak bisa tidur nyenyak pula. Antara ada yg salah pas saunanya atau ya emang bukan buat gue aja kali. Ditambah mesti liat orang2 pada bugil..hmm males bgt.

ya sutralah.

Takut

Lagi takut sama seseorang.
Trus sendirian pula di sini.. ;(

*please leave me alone*

Ahh.. pusingnya..

Pusingnya bikin rencana perjalanan.. tambah pusing begitu ngeliat total perkiraan biayanya hehehe.. Tapi excited sih.. hayoo.. mesti bisa! I'll do anything for you mom & dad! =)

Haiyahh..

During my stay in Germany, I always live together with other person in a shared-apartment, and never live alone. So far I have no big problem with that. I never have a big urge to have my own apartment / my own space. Perhaps it's because I never think too much about how I'm living my life. Until suddenly it bothered me. I have these thought: is it the way I want to live my life? to always live in a shared-apartment? (where I never have to think about how to maintain my own apartment/house and the responsibility is not as big as when you're having your own house/apartment) Do I want to live alone? to have my own house/apartment? Why do I want to do that? Should I move out somewhere else? Should I move to bigger city? (so I could be in the middle of the crowd and have more happening life - though it doesn't guarantee anything)
I know at some point in life we have to move to the next phase of our life. And this is what I don't think too much so far, how the way I live could effect my life - my current and perhaps future life. Whether I better live in big city and not in a small city, whether I better live in a shared-apartment and not live alone somewhere, or whether I should stay here or go back to Jakarta.
It would be easier if you have a goal, something that drives you to stick on the way you live your life. It looks easier when you're married (and so you have no choice not to live alone :p), or when you're having family.. *Hmm.. somehow that life path looks easier to follow* Or at least when you know what you want to go after or to take care. Hmm... Life is always like this, isn't it? Unexpected, unpredictable. And I'm forced to really think about it now. Alone. Well, not only to think, but to decide. To make decision. Again, alone. Arrrggghh... I hate it. I really hate it. :((

btw, kalo pikiran lagi jahat bgt, rasanya pingin nyalahin orang lain. Ini bukan jalan hidup yg gue mau, tapi gara2 orang lain lah gue jd begini hehe.. *gampang bener ya*
wah jd ngalor ngidul..

terakhir, numpang sekalian.
Selamat ulang taun buat adekku!! :) Moga2 dilempengin jalannya (dilurusin maksudnya)..

Raise Your Voices

...

Though your nights be dark and fearful
Though we face the dimming day
Though the heart be sad and tearful
Trust Him, He will light the way

Through the mists in this vale of sorrow
Through the glass we but darkly see
We will rise again tomorrow
Then our eyes will lifted be

Long the road that has no ending
Far the path that has no turn
And the soul is never wending
To the place it first was born

See the host of Angels singing
When they hear that trumpet sound
When the piper's call is ringing
Then shall my soul be ever homeward bound

Mountains tall and seas will thunder
One unceasing chorus ring
Heaven and earth will sleep no longer
Then the universe as one will sing

Raise your voices, raise your voices
Praise to Him thy living word
To the Heavens high ascending
Raise your voices to the Lord

-Raise Your Voices - Secret Garden-

*beautiful song from Secret Garden; keeping my spirit up!*

Tumpengan

Kalo bisa survive sampe akhir taun, semua kerjaan berjalan lancar (dan menghasilkan sesuatu), gue bikin syukuran deh.
Yup. Kerja yg byk, doa yg byk. I will survive.

*dah lama bgt ga makan tumpeng..*

Memberi Harapan

Semalam nonton film My Name is Khan. Lumayan bagus filmnya. Biarpun aktingnya si Shah Rukh Khan ngingetin banget sama aktingnya Dustin Hoffman di film Rain Man (entah semua Autis seperti itu, atau si Khan mengacu ke Dustin..).

Anyway..
sebenernya gak mo bahas film itu. Tapi ya sudahlah.

Lagi kepikiran sesuatu. Tentang memberi harapan.
Sebenernya kenapa ada orang yg suka memberi harapan ke orang lain?
Kalo emang kira2 kemungkinan besar bakal terwujud sih gpp. Tapi kalo enggak, kenapa kita tetep mesti ngasih harapan ya? Biar tetap semangat atau gimana ya?
Tapi sebenernya tergantung topiknya jg sih tergantung apa yg mau diharapkan.

Kalo ada orang yg suka memberi harapan, pasti ada juga yg ga suka ngasih harapan. Tapi lagi2 tergantung topiknya. Gak ada orang yg 100% tipe ga suka ngasih harapan. Kalo topiknya cowok/cewek, gue lebih tipe yg memilih gak kasih harapan kl emang ga ada yg bisa ditawarin buat jd harapan. Alasannya sih gampang. Gak pingin jadi jahat aja. Bikin sakit hati orang itu jauh lebih susah ngobatinnya dibandingin bikin benjol kepala orang.

Biarpun begitu, ada kalanya jg gue jadi orang yg mengharap. Dan parahnya, kadang lebih susah berada di posisi yg ini. Kita suka gak bisa lihat tanda2, bhw orang yg kita harapin itu sebenernya gak memberi harapan. Mungkin saking positif thinking nya plus semangat maju terus pantang mundur hehe. Seringan akhirnya kita sendiri yg tau2 sadar, ini waktunya buat berhenti berharap.

Trus skrg baru inget. Sebenernya ada tipe ketiga: org yg ga tau mo memberi harapan atau enggak. Jadi org ini kyknya lebih susah lagi ya. Gak tau apa yg dia mau, mungkin?
So far kyknya gue blum pernah ngalamin berada di posisi tipe ketiga ini. Ada yg pernah?

Santai..

Dari beberapa hari sebelumnya udah tau kalo Wiken ini bakal cerah ceria cuacanya. Trus terpikir untuk wandern di sekitar Lörrach, sendirian aja. Barang 2-3 jam. Sampe tadi pagi masih blum tau sebenernya mo jalan kemana, eh akhirnya nemu rute juga: Jalan dari rumah ke Burg Roetteln.Kenapa Burg (Kastil) Roetteln?
Pertama, sejak pindah ke Lörrach, belum pernah sama sekali ke sana (kecuali ke restaurantnya).
Kedua, letaknya lumayan tinggi di atas bukit. Jadi itung2 sekalian melatih jantung dan napas pas bagian jalan yg nanjak.
Akhirnya cabut dari apartemen jam setengah 11 siang, bawa rucksack isi pisang sama air 1 botol. Jalan kaki ngelewatin taman kotanya Lörrach, kira2 10 menit letaknya dari apartemen.
Sampe di taman kota mampir dulu ke lapangan olahraga, katanya Stefan ada lapangan basket yg bisa dipake sapa aja. SIPP.. nemu deh! Skrg udah tau dimana kalo mo maen basket =)
Lanjut jalan lagi, nyebrang jembatan kayu di atas jalan raya, jalan di bawah kolong highway, sampe akhirnya nemu deh pendakian pertama :DJalannya nanjak teruuss.. dgn kemiringan sekitar 30-45 derajat. Sampe ngos2an.
Akhirnya sampe atas, total setengah jam-an (atau 1 jam ya?) dr rumah.
Sampe atas, masih naek lagi sampe ke reruntuhan kastil paling atas. Ngeri tangganya kecil bgt.
Kastilnya sendiri menarik, masih ada bekas ruangan2 misalnya buat jamuan, buat keller/basement, buat kapel.
Pintunya jg pendek2. Kira2 setinggi gue lebih dikit. Kyknya sih orang jaman dulu pendek2 ya.
Pemandangannya OK. Bisa liat kota Lörrach sampe blackforest di sekitarnya. Cuaca hari ini emang bagus banget.. harusnya sih langitnya biru jernih, tapi tadi agak2 butek gitu. Mungkin gara2 abu gunung api di iceland itu.

Abis puas muter2, naek turun, foto2 di reruntuhan kastil, trus ke restaurantnya. Restaurantnya di luar gitu (outdoor), dan self service. Jadi pesennya di kasir, minuman lgs dibikinin, makanan tar kalo dah jadi dipanggil pake halo2 (pake nomornya). Kalo cuaca lg bagus, cerah, dan ga dingin, bener2 asik deh nongkrong2 setelah wandern, atau ya byk juga yg datang buat ke restaurant itu aja (naek mobil sampe kastilnya).
Abis kelar makan, piring dkk nya dibawa sendiri ke tempat naruh piring kotor. Jadi modelnya kyk di McDonald gitu.. :) Harganya juga ga mahal2 amatAkhirnya, sebelum jalan lagi, makan dulu deh. Relax bgt rasanya. Angin sepoi2, cuaca cerah, pommes sama bratwurst di meja, plus segelas gede radler.. what I could expect more.. :)

Setelah mikir2, akhirnya memutuskan utk ambil jalan menuju rumah aja karena takut kelamaan. Untungnya begitu, krn rute pulang tnyt juga ga deket karena coba ambil rute lain. Butuh sejam buat akhirnya sampe lagi di rumah.. fiuhhh...
Total2 4 jam di jalan. Capaiii.. tapi santai :)
Lain kali coba rute lain ah..

(again) to Live is to Choose..

Lagi2, lagi2.
Tiap kali pasti ada saatnya kita dihadapkan oleh pilihan dalam hidup. Milih ini atau milih itu.
Ikutin aja kata hati. Mungkin itu yg terbaik.

Malasnya..

gimana caranya bikin nyetrika itu jadi acara yg menyenangkan..

Recharged?

Having spent 4 days in a row without touching any (office) works? That should have brought something. But at the end of the day, it is still heavy somehow. Don't know how to escape. Although the universe has arranged those 4 days in a good way (by providing me no access to the office email, providing great sunny weather, allowing me to join the late night Easter mass at the cathedral which has the biggest pipe organ in the world, and to get a red Easter egg from the bishop :p), I still cannot make my body relaxed. Something wrong with the body or the mind? I just feel tired.

Anyway, I've got gifts from the nature. Being able to see such simple things; which is sometimes I found them beautiful. Such as this combination of blue sky, green grass, brown & green trees, the water, and the earth itself.And sometimes you'll find the human being and his creation, in that picture.. to make it complete :)

(above picture is the result of 10x zoom of previous scene.. guess where the tractor is on the first picture)

Push to the limit

A long time ago, when people asked me why I wanted to work abroad, I would say it's because I wanted to gain experience working in international environment. To work together with people from other countries, and also to prove that I'm as good as them. I thought it would be very interesting experience in my life. Well, it is indeed.
Nevertheless, I forgot one thing. Working with those people means working with people who are coming from different cultures. They have different way of thinking, acting, working, and how to communicate.
And often they use their own way toward the others (I often do that too).
What could happen then?
You could feel being pushed to the limit :(

Lesson learned:
1. be careful to what you wish
2. be strong (it doesn't mean that you should stick to your way, but be strong if the others treat you like you're one of them)
3. never take everything into your heart (maksudnya, jgn dibawa ke perasaan..)
4. kalo bos ngomel2 gak jelas: tampak mendengarkan tapi masuk telinga kiri keluar telinga kanan (biar ga stres sendiri)

Terakhir,
SEBELLLL bgt sama bos kalo dia ngomong sambil ngedumel ngomel2 ngalor ngidul gak jelas! Bilang aja kek baik2 maunya apa.. gak perlu pake nada ngomel2 gak jelas gitu.
Kalo gak inget gue lagi dimana, dah gue tinggalin langsung tuh ruangan miting tanpa ngomong apa2. Serius, gue dah sampe kepikir buat mo lgs keluar ruangan gitu.. :p *lgs membayangkan, bos sama supervisor gue pasti lgs bengong*
Hmm.. tapi mungkin itu ide bagus juga sih. Cuma caranya hrs dilakukan dgn lebih sopan.
Di tengah dia ngedumel ga karuan dan gue dah ga tahan, gue akan berdiri dan bilang: "sorry, I've to take a break, I need fresh air before we can continue again." Then just walk away before he can even say something :D
(tipikal high context bgt ya gue? hehehe)

Bekerja di lingkungan multikultur

Barusan balik dari HR training, bagaimana bekerja di lingkungan internasional yg multikultur.
Hasilnya? menarik.

Indonesia ternyata berada di urutan pertama untuk urusan high context communication, bareng2 sama Jepang. Sedangkan Belanda berada di urutan pertama untuk urusan low context communication.
Maksudnya, orang Belanda itu orang yg paling direct dan orang Indonesia itu orang yg paling indirect kalo ngomong sesuatu.. hehehe.
Tapi gue curiga, orang Indonesia yg paling indirect itu particularly kayaknya orang Jawa.. gue gak yakin apa orang Batak termasuk yg indirect juga, misalnya.
Jerman gimana?
Sama aja kayak Belanda, tapi lebih mendingan direct-nya daripada Belanda.

Lesson learned nya apa?
Gue mesti bisa lebih direct ke teman2 kantor yg orang Jerman kalo ngomong. Juga ke si bos.
Bos gue jg mesti ngerti kalo gue (dan Lou - temen dari China) suka pake high context dalam berkomunikasi.
Trus mesti lebih ati2 kalo berkomunikasi, verbal atau lewat email, dalam meeting atau lewat telephone. Mesti tau dulu siapa orang yg dihadapi.

Gitu deh pelajaran hari ini..

Abis ini kita (gue dan temen2 satu tim yg ikutan training ini) sepakat buat meminta si bos gue ikutan training ini. Biar bisa lebih baik me-manage anak buahnya :P

Week 10

Just came back from three-days-in-a-row training.
Exhausting, but I got something this time.
First, use it first by yourself before trying to sell it.
Second, something gives value when it could heal the pain.
Third, find where's the pain.
Fourth, improve your process first before trying to improve your customer's process (--> this is my own conclusion)

Last,
tough week as usual, but it had allowed me to have one surprising moment where I really enjoyed every minutes of it, and in the end it gave me a real big smile.. =)
I think that God really listens to us; even to our little silly unimportant wish.. :) *geleng2*
Anyway, makasih Tuhan! =)

Kok ya.. pas.

Kemarin gue pikir bakal jadi hari yg berat, tapi ternyata enggak (kecuali bagian bangun jam 5 pagi nya).
Seharian ikutan workshop sama customer. Bener2 menarik karena tidak seorang pun dari kami yg menawarkan atau mempromosikan sesuatu (emang gak boleh), dan yg bener2 kami lakukan adalah mendengarkan apa kata customer, apa yg mereka inginkan.
Biarpun agak2 blank soal measuring instrument, tapi ternyata mendengarkan itu menyenangkan.

Sorenya sehabis workshop, mampir ke satu kolega di kantor Swiss, buat (lagi2) dengerin tentang aplikasi yg dia develop untuk customernya. Yg tadinya gue pikir paling ngabisin waktu sejam, akhirnya jadi 1.5 jam lebih.. Keliatan bgt dia seneng gue nanya2, jadi dia dgn senang hati (tanpa peduli udah hampir jam setengah 7 malam) buat jelasin semuanya..

Malamnya makan malem bareng Kathrin, dengerin dia cerita tentang bos dan kantornya,
gimana dia merasa kalo bos nya pingin dia mengambil tanggung jawab lebih - yg si Kathrin pikir lebih karena Kathrin punya phD di belakang namanya - tapi Kathrin sendiri gak mau.
Menarik juga dengerinnya. Temen gue yg satu ini Dr di bidang kimia, dulu lama kerja di pharma atau chemi industri (yg denger2 selalu hectic dan bikin stress itu), trus akhirnya memutuskan utk keluar dan cari kerja di tempat yg lebih gak terlalu besar tekanannya dan cuma kerja 80% (gak full time) biar bisa lebih menikmati hidup.
Kok ya apa yg dia ceritain itu persis kyk yg gue pikir kemaren, pas gue bertanya2 knp sih kok gue dikasih kerjaan yg nuntut tanggung jawab gede..
Bedanya, dia tau knp, sedangkan gue ga tau knp.. (kecuali alasan gak ada orang lagi hehe.. kacau kacau..)

Trus jadi inget, selasa malam sehabis ngebir bareng temen2 kantor, ngobrol sama Drew tentang kerjaan, tentang gimana dia skrg gak ngoyo kerja (krn dah lewat usianya dan sudah menyadari ga ada gunanya kerja mati2an dari pagi sampe malam krn ga ada yg hargain jg hehehe), tentang belajar buat berkata tidak (several times you say yes and you do the works well, the next time they will come again to you instead of going to the other).
Bener jg sih kata2 dia.. terutama belajar buat berkata tidak.
Sekarang gue lagi mikir, bisa ga ya gue bilang ngga mau dateng ke training hari Selasa hehe..
(tapi abis itu bingung mikir apa alasannya :p - selain alasan jujur: wasting time dan ga dapet apa2, mendingan ngerjain yg lain)

Anyway...
Kok ya pas lagi,
pas lagi berkeluh kesah, eh dapet email yg isinya ada ini:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
Katanya sih itu resep utk bahagia.. :)
Utk gue saat ini, gue lg butuh no 2 no 2 no 2 no 2..
apalagi buat minggu depan...arrggghh.. bakal lebih parah dr minggu ini sptnya :(
*kebayang berdiri di depan, dihujani pertanyaan2, serasa lg koloquium*

... Overwhelm

Sering bgt selagi kerja di kantor, ada pertanyaan yg muncul di kepala: kenapa ya gue ga dikasih kerjaan yg kecil2 aja, yg biasa2 aja, yg gak bikin tertekan, yg gak harus ini itu, tapi tetap bisa membantu atau memberi kontribusi ke org lain / perusahaan.
Kalo ngeliat si Susi, rasanya menyenangkan. Kerja sampe jam 1, lalu pulang ngurus keluarganya. Kerjaan jadi bukan sesuatu hal yg menyita seluruh waktu.

Kadang suka jadi bingung sendiri. Biasanya kan orang bekerja keras krn ada hal yg ingin dikejarnya. Entah jabatan, uang, pengakuan, pembuktian, atau apalah gak tau. Tapi kalo ga ada yg pingin dikejar, gmn dong. Yg ada malah ngerasain bebannya doang.

Kadang pingin teriak: let me alone, let me finish this first, and don't ask too much from me!
It's really frustrated, until I have no energy left even to say a word.
Then suddenly I become a zombie, with empty face and mind somewhere else..
hmm... I need a break.