Now I understand..

As I always believe, we actually never stop learning.

Well, we can.. if we want.

Anyway, today I think I learned something important, important to be understood.

Something that I never realized before, that it could influence to the way how the whole big company is running.

It's the CULTURE.

Simple, but I didn't think that it could be the answer of my frustration.

My colleague gave that possible answer. He's also new in the company, and he could see how the Swiss culture may give huge influence to the way people working in the company (well, since it is Swiss').

He said, Swiss people don't like conflicts. And he thinks that this is the reason why in the office the people always try to accommodate, negotiate, discuss, discuss, discuss, and discuss(!) to find the solution, which could fit / accepted by most of the people (probably not by everybody). And it sometimes takes a longggg time until a decision is made.

This is something which makes me frustrated sometimes. The very first thing that I also didn't understand, how come the topic which has been discussed 4-5 years ago is still being discussed now, and it's like there is no movement.. and it's like no one wants to make decision. (it's quite difficult to understand, probably because I'm coming from the other part of the world where many things seem moving so fast..)

But.. I think some of the "Why" questions in my head are answered. At least, for now.

Blame the culture? no.. I just need to understand it first.

Next, to figure out how to deal with that.. *fiuhhhh*

He and She

He never changes, so He wants She also to never change.

She changes, and She wants He to change as well.

She expects He would change,

He expects She would never change.

He and She would never be the same.

Why do you change? - He asks.

Why do I want you to change? - She asks.

Why should I change? - He asks.
Why couldn't I stay the same? - She asks.

He and She are complicated,

Life is complicated.

It's something that I cannot understand,

or I just understood.

Something that I finally learned, after almost 32 years.

Never too late to learn, though. Never ever..

*thx chin buat pencerahannya :D*

Long Day..

Hari ini ngabur ke Düsseldorf, senangnya bisa ngabur bentar dr kerjaan hehe..

Gak sia2 10 jam naek kereta bolak balik.. dpt visa, dpt trench coat yg diidam2kan (diskon 50% pula, dan tinggal satu2nya.. wahh jodoh bener deh), dan tentu saja ga mungkin dilewatkan: makan di resto jepanggg... nyumiii..

Pulang2 bokek deh.

Kalau..

Kalau gue bisa bikin 2 visa dlm waktu 3 minggu, kita tumpengan..

double decker tumpengannya.. skalian sama tumpengan kalo gue bisa survive taun ini :P

*stress euy*

Need a break right before vacation?

Yes, that's what I need! :(

I'm really really really tired right now..

and now I'm thinking to have a short break, going away from everything even only for one day.

And do nothing. There should not be something to hike, to bike, to run, to swim or to walk.

Just lay down and watch the beautiful mother nature, from dawn until night.

hmm.. I wish I know a place somewhere for my hideaway..

I think it's enough now!

I'm tired now to be their housekeeper.. so next plan after mom-dad trip: new apartment. (bukan mo beli apartemen ya.. :p *i wish i could*)

*Glek*

"The 5 girls were being prepared for selling as child brides because their families had no goats which means no milk, meat and blood, and no food in their drought-stricken desert. By selling their daughter to an older man, they receive a dowry of goats which means their survival. We prevented the child bride exchange by giving their parents four goats each." - source: from an email.

Cannot say anything, only how we should be grateful for our life, and there's a reason for it, to help the children like them.

http://www.ihfonline.org/

Last Week

Last week was such a stressful week for me. I know that there were still a bunch of work to do, but somehow I felt really really down. I questioned a lot the way I work, the reason why I'm doing it, and the result. The last part frustrated me a lot. Since I'm more a practical & simple person, I really like to see that what I've done producing something real. But since some of the projects' goal are conceptual things, it's not really easy to see the result. And I know deep down that I'm not a person who is good at making concept. So it gives additional headache sometimes.

But last week, it's too much. (perhaps I'll blame the hormone)

I couldn't sleep, my brain was always thinking about the work, until I cried. Embarrassing isn't it. Since I didn't know what to do, then I shared it with friends. It turned out to be a huge relief because they all gave support to me. "don't give up, you can do it!" they're some of them. And then I realize, it is their support which always help me to get through the difficult time. Nothing else. But I have to share my difficulty first with them, so they would know.

So, lesson learned. If you've a difficult time, try to share it with your friends. Just a small part of it, if you don't want to share it all. Then your good friends will always give you support. I will also do the same thing if my friends need my support. *promise*

At the end of the week, a paper sent by a far away colleague had helped me a lot to smile again.. ;)

Thank you, all! =)

And this song is for you.

This Week

Beberapa minggu terakhir ini kerja dari pagi sampe malam, malamnya masih lanjut mantengin internet buat booking2 tiket + hotel. Hasilnya mata dan otak lelah bgt rasanya. Sempet diajak ngobrol sama temen sekantor yg sesama perantau, tentang bedanya hidup perantau dan orang asli sini, plus kadang suka merasa kosong krn kebanyakan diisi rutinitas kerja aja. Buat dia masih agak lebih mending krn dia punya attachment: istrinya. Biarpun ga punya anak, tp dah cukup buat jadi reason to survive. Tapi tetep aja ada yg hilang, seperti keluarga, komunitas, atau hal2 yg dulu dia lakukan tp sejak pindah ke Swiss ga pernah bisa dilakukan lagi. Ujung2nya, dia bilangin gue buat punya sesuatu yg lain di luar kerjaan, biar imbang jiwanya. Mungkin gara2 dia liat gue pulangnya sering terakhir (bareng dia), atau mungkin krn gue satu2nya foreigner di project team itu, makanya jadi ngerti apa yg dia omongin. Dia jg bilang bahwa sesuatu yg lain itu harus dicari or dikejar, ga bakalan kita nunggu aja tanpa melakukan apa2 trus datang sendiri. Ya begitu lah.

Kayaknya sih dah tau apa yg diinginkan, tapi kemana nyarinya, itu yg masih bingung. Kadang jadi beneran takut. Kayak hari ini. hmm.. moga2 ini masih normal ya, bukan krn trauma atau apa.

Krn mo mencoba mengerjakan sesuatu yg lain (selain kerjaan), kemaren pas hari libur nyoba ke sauna sama kobua. Itu pertama kalinya nyobain sauna. Hasilnya? kyknya gak bakal pingin2 banget lagi deh. Abisnya gitu doang. Yg tadinya berharap jd lebih rilex, eh malah gak karuan hehe.. badannya tetep nyimpen panas sampe 2 hari berikutnya :( Gak bisa tidur nyenyak pula. Antara ada yg salah pas saunanya atau ya emang bukan buat gue aja kali. Ditambah mesti liat orang2 pada bugil..hmm males bgt.

ya sutralah.