It's just not fair

Normally, or sometimes, or usually, if you work on something, that is to get something done, or at least to make something different, hopefully to something better.
At least that's how I see myself in working. On one hand, it gives so much pleasure to see some works are done, even though they are just small and perhaps not so important works. The most important is, it is done. So you can move to other things, to solve and finish the other things. 
Sometimes you get bigger things that needs to be done. You tried hard, with your own think and effort, which also sometimes is limited. Limited by your own knowledge and ability. And exactly there, you feel stopped. It's finished, but it's not really finished. It looks like it's okay to go to next things, but it's actually not beautifully wrapped. It is not done. But you cannot do anything.
Terrible is when you just realize that it is not done 1 or 2 years later. Suddenly you have that discussion. Discussion about where, what, and bla bla. Suddenly you feel like you've done nothing the last years. Conversation that you had, explanation that you listened, hundreds documents that you wrote, thousands of meeting that you attended (well, it's a bit hyperbolic here), decisions you ever heard (if I could now recall it as decisions), they are all nothing.
Suddenly you are back at the start line.
I feel like that right now. Something that I thought is progressing, is actually nothing. A proof of unfinished work? Maybe. It's just not fair. It's just not fair. Even an unfinished work needs a feedback whether it should be completed, stopped, or whatever. 

It's just disappointing. I feel disappointed to myself, I'm part of that unfinished work. 
It is time to re-think what I could give and what I should not give anymore. If I could make any difference, then perhaps it's time to move on. Never stay at the same place all your life with the thought that you've made differences, while in a reality you're not. 

Jalan

Hidup itu ternyata memang seperti yang orang-orang bilang. Ada naik dan turunnya. Ada saatnya gak mikir, ada pula saat buat mikir. Mirip satu perjalanan. Ada saatnya kita berada di jalan yang lurus tanpa persimpangan, ada saatnya kita sampai juga di persimpangan. Dan kita harus memilih jalan mana yang diambil, untuk kemudian berjalan lagi di jalan yang lurus tanpa persimpangan.
Kadang juga kita merasa sudah berjalan lama sekali di jalan lurus tanpa persimpangan. Masih bagus kalau kita bisa sadar ternyata sudah lama kita tidak menjumpai persimpangan. Mungkin lebih sering kita bahkan gak sadar kalau ada persimpangan, saking sudah terbiasanya dengan jalan lurus, kita otomatis lanjutkan melangkah ke jalan lurus di depan kita tanpa tengok jalan lain di persimpangan itu. Malas mikir, takut, entah apa lagi alasannya sehingga kita memilih jalan lurus di depan kita saja.