It isn't easy

It's not easy at all.

Sometimes I feel like everybody knows what's best for me.
Correction - they think they know.
So they will tell me to do this and that,
or they will tell me not to do this and that,
or they will treat me like I'm an idiot or alien (who has no feeling),
or they will act like nothing's going on,
or they will keep a distance,
or they will just leave me,
or they will just become silent.

I believe that I am the one who knows what's best for myself.
The big problem is,
sometimes I don't know what's best for myself..

I hope it's not so pity.. and I know I'm not alone.
But I really hope I could find it someday.
I just don't want to die before knowing what's best for my life.